Still Waiting.........2012 Here we come!

Well, it is officially after Christmas and almost 2012 and we still don't know who Kayman Janessa Vanosdol will be. Last April when they first told us we would be home with our daughter before the end of year we were doubtful but also hopeful. Oh well, when you are adopting you have to be flexible and realize the process isn't predictable. We learned that the hard way in our Guatemalan adoption of Karter. (Who was so worth the wait!)

The good news is we firmly believe Kayman will be home with us sometime in 2012. Her room is almost complete and I'm getting very excited about shopping for a little girl.

The week of Thanksgiving I received the news that we had our official Chinese "Log in Date" or LID. This is a very important part of the Chinese adoption process. As soon as the dossier (all of the adoption documents and legal papers) are completed and approved by USCIS and the Chinese Consulate here in the US, they have to be sent to Beijing where they are then translated. After that our Agency workers in China file the papers with the CCCWA (Chinese group that handles the international adoptions). Once they are filed the family receives the LID. At this point, the family is ready to receive a referral! THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW! We could get a picture and medical of our daughter any day! I'm anxiously awaiting a call from an unknown number saying they are sending me an email with pictures and information. Once we receive that referral we will travel to China in 4-6 months to bring Kayman home. Please pray for patience and favor that we will receive the perfect little girl for our family. There is a waiting child list that we can go to and try to "pick" our daughter. We looked at it once and really struggled with picking one when there were so many waiting therefore, we decided to wait and let them match us.

So, as you can see, the Vanosdol family is expecting 2012 to be full of blessings with a new little girl in the family! It may still have hard times, but we believe God is going to touch us all with a beautiful Chinese princess.

Christmas Time is Here!

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Blessings.....

I have always loved the song Blessings by Laura Story and had a real connection to it, but it never touched me as much as it did today. Read these lyrics and think about them.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

See last night I received an email while I was out of town at meetings. It was from Tina at the adoption agency and said that the little girl we had talked about on Friday was now available and did we want her to lock the file for us. As soon as I noticed the email I started shaking and tried to text Jason who was at a meeting at the fire department. This was the little girl whose picture stole our hearts and we couldn't even think about any of the other girls after we saw her. We thought about her all weekend and wondered if she would be our daughter. I received a text back from Jason asking if I had said yes. That was all it took from him for me to know that I needed to contact Tina instantly and let her know we did want the file locked. As I started typing buttons my cell phone died! Now remember I was out of town at meetings and I happened to be at the mall trying to look for a couple of things we needed. I ran to my car, drove to Best Buy as fast as could and went in to buy a cell phone charger. My office had just recently replaced my BlackBerry and I hadn't taken the time to buy a car charger. I ran back to my car and plugged in my phone. It took a little while for my phone to get enough charge to come back on and be able to reply to Tina's email. I typed as fast as I could, "Yes, please lock her file." I then called Jason and told him that the file should be locked. We talked for a while and after we hung up I checked my email again to see if I heard anything back from Tina. As I read her reply my heart sank. "I'm so sorry but she is already gone." I couldn't help but think, "If my phone wouldn't have died I would have a daughter." I know there are thousands of other little girls out there that needs a mommy and daddy so I'm moving on, but it was a very difficult evening. I went from extreme excitement to one of the biggest let downs that I've ever felt in just a matter of about 30 minutes! I was in too much shock that I didn't even cry. I called Jason back and said, "She's already gone. Somebody got to her before us." That was about it to our conversation. I went back to the hotel, went to bed and then got up for my meetings like nothing had happened.

Then, as I was driving home from my meetings today Laura Story's song Blessings came on. The tears finally came. I was mourning the daughter that I thought God had for me, but I also realized that this disappointment must really be a blessing from God. He knows who my daughter is and he will match us with her at the perfect time. We just have to trust Him and His timing. This was one of God's mercies in disguise. We are going to be ok so don't worry about us. These trials are what teaches us to trust God. Please continue to pray for us in this process as we experience God's blessings whether they come through sleepless nights, tears or great joy and excitement! Our daughter is out there and we will find her.

Another Step Closer.......

Well, it has been an exciting couple of weeks. A week ago Friday we finally had our appointment in Lubbock with the USCIS to get our fingerprints done. We left on Thursday as soon as we got off work and made the 4 hour drive to Lubbock. After we checked into our hotel we drove to make sure we knew where the USCIS office was so that we wouldn't be late to our 8 am and 9 am appoitnments. (Jason's appointment was first) We arrived Friday morning around 7:45. The second they opened the door (about 7:50) we hurried to get there before all the other people waiting. We didn't run or push or anything rude like that but I didn't want to wait all morning either. I made sure to let them know that my appointment wasn't till 9 but my husband's was 8 so I came with him. They said that was ok and sent us straight to the first desk! We were fingerprinted and on our way by 8:15. So what do we do next.......start the 4 hour drive back to Perryton! We did stop in Amarillo to get Karter's Christmas gifts and eat a good lunch but then we went on home to be with Karter.

Then, just yesterday, we had the opportunity to look at the waiting child listing for the first time. It was really a difficult thing for me. We looked at just girls in the age range of 1-3. We saw about 75 girls that need a forever mommy and daddy. It's really hard to see all of them and try to pick which child you want. It just felt strange and maybe a little wrong to "shop" for a child. I struggled with my feelings during this process, but Jason and I were both drawn to and fell in love with one little girl. At this point we have no idea if we will get her or not, but our Agency is trying to help us put a "hold" on her. See we haven't actually submitted our dossier to our Agency yet because we were waiting on approval from Homeland Security who has to process our application and fingerprints.

Now for some very exciting news! We received our USCIS approval TODAY! Yes, just 1 week after being fingerprinted we received a letter from Homeland Security saying we are approved to adopt up to two children from China! Woo Hoo!! I didn't believe that we would get something like this so quickly! I have to go to Amarillo on Monday and Tuesday for some business meetings so I will leave a little early and hand deliver the approval notice to our Ageny! It's starting to feel more and more real! I'm going to be a mommy to a beatiful Chinese princess! Now I think it's go time on getting her room done. The bed is already made, but we bought new turquoise paint for the walls and hot pink curtains to hang over the windows. Also my mother-in-law is making valances with ladybug fabric to hang over the pink curtains! I just can't wait to know for sure who will be our Kayman Janessa!

One Step Closer!

Well, we are officially one step closer to having a daughter. A week ago Friday we had our home visit for the home study. Four visits are now required so we drove to Amarillo Wednesday to have our 4Th and final visit! Yay!! The case worker hopes to have the home study complete sometime this week. I can hardly wait and have been busy gathering up the final papers and filling out forms for the next step. Next, we have to be approved by Homeland Security to bring a child into the USA. I have everything ready to send in the minute I receive the approved home study! Things are starting to move. It won't be long and we'll be able to see the beautiful face of our new daughter. It may only be a picture on the computer, but that will be another step closer to holding her in my arms. I'm also ready to start working harder on getting her room ready! I think I see paint in the near future. Should it be pink or turquoise??? I can't decide for sure. Below is a picture of the bedding for Kayman's room. I'm really loving the little ladybugs.

The valances are discontinued so my mother-in-law is making some and I can't wait to see them! My good friend Teresa is going to help me paint flowers and a border in the room! I'm so excited about a little girl. I sure wish I knew her weight and size so I could go crazy shopping for precious little dresses and other girlie things!

Indiana Vacation

Last week the three of us made the long trek up to Indiana to visit Jason's family and to see some sights! We had a jam packed fun week! We arrived Saturday evening and went out so Karter could spend some time with his only cousins Emiy and Chandler. He had an absolute blast with them! Here they are that first evening.
Then, on Sunday we had the priviledge of Aunt Lisa taking us to the 100th Anniversary of the Indianapolis 500! Wow! What a great once in a lifetime experience! Karter cried about half way through the race when we made him leave the stands to go to the restroom and to get a snack. He was afraid he was going to miss all the cars. Here he is enjoying the race!


Then on Monday and Tuesday we were able to be with cousins Emily and Chandler again. Monday was spent at the Indianapolis Zoo where Karter and Chandler were our tour guides. They would keep the map and decide what we were going to go see next. All three of the kids seemed to like the sharks the best. The Zoo had an area that was full of water and small sharks. You could walk up to the edge of the water and if you were careful you could pet the sharks. All of the kids thought that was really cool. Here are some pictures of the Zoo!



Tuesday we drove down to Santa Claus, Indiana to visit Holiday World and Splashin Safari! It was a great day with the family! I didn't get many pictures since everyone spent most of the day in the water on the slides and in the wave pool! Here is one of Karter and his cousins again.
Wednesday we went to watch the Indianapolis Indians play baseball. Once again we need to say a big thanks to Aunt Lisa and Uncle Pat for the tickets! It was fun, but it seems that I didn't get any pictures! Thursday, we took it easy and then went to see Chandler play baseball! It was a great week, but we had to leave on Friday to make the 16 hour drive home so we could be back to church Sunday morning!

Just before we left for this vacation, Karter finished up his first season of t-ball. Here are a few pictures from it! I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY!!!

The Name

Ok, so several people have asked what we are going to name our daughter so I guess I'll put it out there for everyone. We are going with something unique. I've had some people tell me we should go simple because our last name is so difficult, but I believe we have to go with our heart. We fell in love with a name several years ago that we saw on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. It was Kayman. I don't know why we both loved it, but we did and claimed that would be a great name to go with Karter. Since we were going with another "K" name we decided we should stick with a "J" middle name to go with Karter Jackson. We explored several, but until recently when I was reading a Karen Kingsbury novel we weren't sure what the middle name would be. We have now agreed that the middle name will be Janessa. Janessa means glorious or the Lord is glorious. When I found out the meaning of Janessa, I was even more in love with it than when I first read it in the book. So, there you go! She will be Kayman Janessa! I've already ordered a personalized blanket for her so the name can't be changed! Haha!!

Here is the personalized blanket that we ordered.

Papers, Papers & More Papers!

Well, so far this adoption is going much smoother than the last! I have been trying to keep up with the papers and forms as they come in so we will be ahead of the game. I don't want any delays to be our fault. We've sent in everything for our home study so we're just waiting for the call that they are ready to start the home study interviews! I'm not very excited about it because as I've mentioned before, it scares me to death! Also, China requires 4 visits with the social worker rather than just one! The good news is that only one visit has to be at our house. We can travel to Amarillo the other 3 and not pay the social worker for mileage. I realize we'll still have to pay for gas, but it is cheaper than mileage. I still can't believe our daughter could be at home with us before the year is up! Wow! We are all in for a BIG change!

Last Friday Jason and I went away to Amarillo to hear the Trans Siberian Orchestra and then stay the night to do some shopping the next day. Jason gave me permission to buy some things for our daughter because Wal-Mart was having a huge sale and we were able to buy t-shirts, skits & pants for $1 each! They will be great for her to wear to daycare. They may all be a little too big when she comes home, but that's ok because it gave me a chance to shop for her and you can't beat the $1 price!! Here is a picture of some of the shirts & some of the hats with flowers that I've bought. I can't wait to dress her up!!


Karter is still very excited about getting a sister. Here are a couple of pictures of him and his smile! I love that boy!

Here we go again!

Well, most of you know by now that we are in the process of adopting again! I thought this time would be a piece of cake because I've been through it all. The thing is, that was several years ago and all the old fears and hesitations are coming back! I'm scared to death about the home study. I've been through it before and did just fine, but it still freaks me out! Someone is going to come in and look at my home, my family and all my personal information and decide IF I'll be an acceptable parent! YIKES!! This is a big deal to me. I've also started the piles and piles of papers. I've been assured that the process for China is much simpler than Guatemala and the papers are even easier, but I can't really remember all of it so I don't know what the papers were like for Guatemala. I thought I'd never forget the process, but once we got our baby boy home I never really looked back at the little details!

We are officially accepted again by our adoption agency so I feel like one hurdle is behind us. I don't know why I feared that step, but I did. Now, we have to get physicals, complete more papers, get ready for the home study and hopefully start our dossier for China fairly soon! I can't believe I could be a mommy again before the year is up! I'm so excited, but nervous at the same time. I'm already dreaming about my little Chinese girl and her beautiful dark hair! Since we don't know how old she will be I haven't been able to shop for clothes so I'm doing the next best thing and buying bows! We've purchased her bedding and have it on her bed so now I hope my mother-in-law will help me make valances for the windows that match the bedding! I'm loving getting prepared, but I just want to see my little girl's face! I can't wait to get the referral and better yet, to see her in person when we go pick her up! I already love this little girl and I have no clue who she is.

Karter prays for his little sister almost every night as he goes to bed. He is very excited to meet her and to share with her and teach her all about different things. Last night we were at my parent's house watching television when a commercial for princess Zhu Zhu Pets came on. He jumped from the chair and exclaimed, "Hey! I think my sister would like those!" I love the joy and excitement he has and I pray that it continues once his sister comes home. He is going to be such a great big brother! He loves helping other kids build with blocks and play with toys. I love that little boy and the care he shows for other children!